Women: Their Own Worst Enemy Sometimes!
It's
been said that women can be their own worst enemies when it
comes to competition in business and careers. That statement
begs such questions as what does that mean? Where does that
notion come from? When does that apply?
Once
you pass the outrage at such a statement, it gives pause to
some serious thought about how such a comment would even materialize
in the first place.
As
a child of the '60s, I was smack dab in the middle of the
women's (r)evolution and the flood of women rushing into the
workplace. Raising two kids as a single parent and working
two jobs to support them didn't leave a lot of time for burning
bras and rioting. However, as a woman who had to work, I frequently
experienced prejudice and harassment in the workplace like
most others did, making it easy to understand why all the
uproar.
It
was a time when the highest role a woman had was as a secretary
to a male president. We're not talking about the '30's either
but rather only less than 30 years ago. Well, at the risk
of inciting more outrage, we've come a long way, baby. But
not without plenty of clawing, scratching, climbing, and ceiling
smashing.
Women
today are choosing and succeeding in careers in every field,
from astronauts to auto engineers, brain surgeons to basketball
stars, race car drivers to jet fighter pilots. Pick one, any
one, and go girl! Some nine million women-owned businesses
in contribute more than $2.3 trillion to the national economy
(so far) making us the fastest-growing segment of business
owners in the United States.
Now
that women are finally accelerating at such rapid speed, one
would think that there is a great support system and incredible
unity among these underdogs. And there is, for the most part,
if you look in the right places. However, swirling below that
visceral tide of support lurks a nefarious breed of sharks
just waiting to rip you apart.
The
mission of ROAD & TRAVEL Magazine is and always
has been to support and encourage women in pursuit of their
dreams no matter what they are, no matter what it takes. If
you can dream it, you can have it. In fact, RTM was
founded specifically to empower women through education and
resources, and in protest to the negative treatment received
at dealerships, not to mention in the work place.
While
we continue our mission to encourage women and girls never
to use or accept that self-defeating four-letter word can't,
we don't want to create false illusions that pursuing your
dreams is a bed of roses. In fact, entering any new venture
should not be taken lightly because if it is, you'll be eaten
alive by your own kind.
As
women continue to climb the ladders of success or venture
out to start their own businesses, they often unknowingly
leave behind peers who experience jealousy, envy, or resentment.
With those negative feelings comes loss of friendships or
unfriendly treatment. It's not only sad but can sometimes
prove to have an adverse effect on your own goals. But only
if you let it. As unpleasant as this can be at times, you
must learn to overcome it in order to continue your pursuit.
Not
long ago, Los Angeles magazine ran a cover story called
"Lonely At The Top." The cover featured a professional,
well-dressed business woman. The article profiled many distinguished
and successful business men and women in a variety of industries.
Their
success stories and climb to the top were all somewhat similar.
What each discovered along the way, as well as when they reached
the top, was how lonely it was. The pursuit of their dreams,
attaining their goals, and reaping the rewards of their success
was not without cost. For most, it was hard to keep friends
who were not equally successful, due to jealousy or insecurity.
For others, making new friends was difficult because it was
hard to tell who was sincere or who was pretending to be sincere
for access to money or contacts.
Women
today who pursue their goals in business are experiencing
similar patterns, making the road to success even more difficult.
Some men find successful women threatening or intimidating,
leaving many dynamic women successful and single. Some women
experience professional or personal jealousy toward their
peers, leaving friendships or business relationships in shambles.
This kind of reaction to your success by a colleague (in or
outside of your company) can sometimes lead to attempts to
ruin your personal or professional reputation due to their
inability to control their emotions and maintain a professional
code of conduct.
There
are those who will even jeopardize or sacrifice their own
reputation or the reputation of the company for which they
work due to the lack of integrity and courage to pursue their
own dreams. If you pay close enough attention, body language
and facial expressions serve as an excellent barometer of
how people really feel about you. If what they say and how
they're saying it is not congruent, you may have a problem.
Remember what you heard as a kid? It's not what you say, it's
what you do. Actions speak louder than words.
While
these are always very difficult people to deal with, especially
since they're usually quite masterful at hiding this devious
side of themselves making it difficult to prove their depths
of deception and undermining, it's not impossible to move
around them. But you must never let them stop you because
their mission is to destroy your dreams and goals. You can't
let them win.
The
goal here is not to scare you, but rather to prepare you.
Never get mad, get successful. Instead of anger, use that
fire to fuel your passion to work harder and reach further.
There's no sweeter revenge than the sweet smell of success.
And you don't even have to lift a finger or waste an ounce
of energy on the perpertrator.
When
you find yourself faced with a solid wall in the way of your
dream, then go over it, around it, or get a damn shovel and
go under it. There will be plenty of walls, plenty of challenges,
and plenty of people who will be there to build them. Many
of them, women. Welcome and then defeat the challenges as
they come. They will make you stronger, smarter, faster, and
a far superior player at the game of life. Keep in mind, that
although uninvited and unwelcomed, adversaries keep us from
becoming complacent. They keep us sharp.
The
ugly truth is that, yes, some women can be their own worst
enemy. However, I can say from many years of experience and
with a great certainty that most women can and will provide
the best support system that you'll ever find. Don't be afraid
to seek out that support.
Just
remain vigilant that, although far and few between, there
are always a few who will run interference but if you keep
your eye on the goal, ultimately, it'll be you who scores
the touchdown. And they will disappear into darkness.
Here
are some important tips to remember along your path to success:
-
Always
pursue your dreams with vigor and passion but be aware
and alert at all times.
-
Stop
at nothing. Never let anyone do or say anything that will
prevent or stop you from attaining your goals, whether
professionally, academically, or athletically.
-
Surround
yourself with supportive and encouraging family and friends
who will serve as your net when things get tough. And
they will.
-
Remain
humble with your success.
